who can help me to improve the article还有可以替换更好的句子和词语的地方也请指教 提出好意见的我愿意给很多分的啊———— What to do in an EarthquakeChina has suffered a lot in the earthquake took place in May in

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who can help me to improve the article还有可以替换更好的句子和词语的地方也请指教 提出好意见的我愿意给很多分的啊———— What to do in an EarthquakeChina has suffered a lot in the earthquake took place in May in
who can help me to improve the article
还有可以替换更好的句子和词语的地方也请指教 提出好意见的我愿意给很多分的啊————
What to do in an Earthquake
China has suffered a lot in the earthquake took place in May in Sichuan Province,and many people died because of their lack in knowledge when facing the earthquake.Now I will talk about the things you should do before,during and after an earthquake.
Getting prepared well can cut down the loss in a great way.Things may be in chores after a major earthquake,so you should be prepared to fend yourself for at least three days,preferably a week.The most important thing is food and drink,as humans can live without food or drink.A first aid kit is also necessary in case that you or someone around you are hurt in the earthquake.It is also wise to discuss the insurance with your agent,which may be worthwhile.
Behaving correctly during the earthquake is so important that once you do something wrong,you will face more danger.What to do during an earthquake depends on where you are,while one thing in common is that you should stay away from things that are likely to fall down or smash,such as heavy furniture,windows,buildings,and tunnels.If you are indoors,duck or drop down to the floor,take cover under a sturdy desk,table or other furniture.If you are outside,get into the open.If you are driving,stop somewhere far out of the normal traffic pattern if possible.You must be careful of the falling rocks when you are in a mountainous area,and you must move quickly to higher ground or several hundred yards inland when you are at the beach.
Knowing how to manage after an earthquake can be of great help.The thing you should do immediately is to check for fire or fire hazards.Do listen to the radio for important information and instructions,for the aftershocks can also be especially harmful.If the phone is working,only use it in case of emergency.In this way the line will not be crowded and people who are extremely eager to use the phones can use them.
Above all,you need to stay in calm and believe that things will be better.Always try to help others trapped in the earthquake if you can and encouraging each other to overcome the difficulties is also a marvelous thing to do.

who can help me to improve the article还有可以替换更好的句子和词语的地方也请指教 提出好意见的我愿意给很多分的啊———— What to do in an EarthquakeChina has suffered a lot in the earthquake took place in May in
earthquake took place - earthquake that took place
died - have died
lack in - lack of
when facing the earthquake - when it comes to earthquakes
I will talk about - I want to talk about / I want to tell you about
Getting prepared well - Being well prepared
loss in a great way - losses in many ways
chores - choas
fend yourself - feed yourself
the most important thing is - the most important things are
drink - drinks
as - since
can live - can't live
drink - drinks
are hurt - is/gets hurt
in the earthquake - during the earthquake
the insurance - earthquake insurance
Behaving correctly - Correct behaviors
is so important - are important
that once - because once/if
where you are - where you are when the earthquake strikes
fall down - fall
duck or drop - drop
other furniture - some other pieces of furniture
out of the normal traffic pattern - our of traffic
the falling rocks - falling rocks
higher ground - a higher ground
how to manage - what to do
harmful - dangerous
crowded - jammed
who are extremely eager to use the phone - who really need to use the phones
stay in calm - stay calm
be better - get better
trapped in the earthquake - who are trapped somewhere because of the earthquake

就怕给你纠正了,没分拿。

帮你改了一下语法 和 一些单词
总的来说很不错的
What to do in an Earthquake
China has suffered a lot in the earthquake (这里要加 that) took place in(是on 不是in) May in Sichuan Province and many people died because of...

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帮你改了一下语法 和 一些单词
总的来说很不错的
What to do in an Earthquake
China has suffered a lot in the earthquake (这里要加 that) took place in(是on 不是in) May in Sichuan Province and many people died because of their lack in(是 of) knowledge when facing the earthquake. Now I will talk about the things you should do before, during and after an earthquake.
Getting prepared well can cut down the loss in a great way. Things may be in chores (是 chaos吧)after a major earthquake, so you should be prepared to fend yourself for at least three days, preferably a week. The most important thing is(是 are) food and drink, as humans can (是 can not)live without food or drink. A first aid kit is also necessary in case that you or someone around you are hurt in the earthquake. It is also wise to discuss the insurance with your agent, which may be worthwhile.
Behaving correctly during the earthquake is so important that once you do something wrong, you will face (是 you will be facing)more danger. What to do during an earthquake depends on where you are, while one thing in common (是 a common thing )is that you should stay away from things that are likely to fall down or smash, such as heavy furniture(s), windows, buildings, and tunnels. If you are indoors, duck or drop down(是 get down) to the floor, take cover under a sturdy desk, table or other (这里加 large)furniture. If you are outside, get into the open. If you are driving, stop somewhere far out of the normal traffic pattern, if possible. You must be careful of the falling rocks when you are in a mountainous area, and you must move quickly to higher ground or several hundred yards inland when you are at the beach.
Knowing how to manage after an earthquake can be of great help. The thing(改成action that should take place) immediately is to check for fire or fire hazards. Do listen to the radio for important information and instructions, for the aftershocks can also be especially(改成 very) harmful. If the phone is working, only use it in case of emergency. In this way the line will not be crowded and people who are extremely eager to use the phones can use them.
Above all, you need to stay in calm and believe that things will be better. Always try to help others trapped in the earthquake if you can and encouraging each other to overcome the difficulties is also a marvelous thing to do.

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1 题目不太合适,我看第一段讲的是precaution之类的,题目是地震的时候该做什么,题目太小。
2 应该写得更精悍一点. 比如 “Behaving correctly during the earthquake is so important that once you do something wrong, you will face more danger.”
Knowin...

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1 题目不太合适,我看第一段讲的是precaution之类的,题目是地震的时候该做什么,题目太小。
2 应该写得更精悍一点. 比如 “Behaving correctly during the earthquake is so important that once you do something wrong, you will face more danger.”
Knowing the right thing to do during an earthquake leaves you exposed to less danger.

收起

写得不错啊
最后一段 stay calm
没怎么认真看不好意思哈