谁能帮我改改我的这段作文.只是个例子:Take my piano student Candy for example. Her father is a successful business man who earns a huge amount of money every year. However, after learning the good news that Candy won the first prize

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谁能帮我改改我的这段作文.只是个例子:Take my piano student Candy for example. Her father is a successful business man who earns a huge amount of money every year. However, after learning the good news that Candy won the first prize
谁能帮我改改我的这段作文.
只是个例子:
Take my piano student Candy for example. Her father is a successful business man who earns a huge amount of money every year. However, after learning the good news that Candy won the first prize in a piano competition, her father said gladly, the awards my daughter won offered me amazing feeling that no matter how much money I earned can never compare with it.



主要改语法和更好的表达.多谢!

谁能帮我改改我的这段作文.只是个例子:Take my piano student Candy for example. Her father is a successful business man who earns a huge amount of money every year. However, after learning the good news that Candy won the first prize
Take Candy,my piano student for example. Her father is a successful business man who earns much money every year. While learning the good news that Candy wins the first prize in a piano competition, her father says excitedly, "The awards my daughter wins offers me an amazing feeling that everything money brings to me can never exceed."

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