谁能帮我改一下英语作文（高中）?Our New Product-PancakeOur factory make a new food-Pancake now.It makes by rice、maize、grease、cream and so on.And we make many different kinds of it.And we use the especially ways to make it,just lik

谁能帮我改一下英语作文（高中）?Our New Product-PancakeOur factory make a new food-Pancake now.It makes by rice、maize、grease、cream and so on.And we make many different kinds of it.And we use the especially ways to make it,just lik
谁能帮我改一下英语作文（高中）?
Our New Product-Pancake
Our factory make a new food-Pancake now.It makes by rice、maize、grease、cream and so on.And we make many different kinds of it.And we use the especially ways to make it,just like fring or baking.So,our pancake is very delicious.We will taste the good smell in long times when we eat it.And the important is that we add many nutrient materials.It is good for old or young people.So,many people all like eating it.The edible methods is that is open that is food ,or regard as a snack.Please buy it and taste it,you will fell good of it!
最好能给一下得分（满分25）谢谢……

谁能帮我改一下英语作文（高中）?Our New Product-PancakeOur factory make a new food-Pancake now.It makes by rice、maize、grease、cream and so on.And we make many different kinds of it.And we use the especially ways to make it,just lik
是做广告吗?
也许你应该把作文题发上来的.
算了,我来写写看吧:
You know what?Our factory had developed a new product!
It's pancake which is made from rice,maize,grease,cream and so on.And there are really many different kinds,which gives you a lot of choices.Furthermore,we use a special way to make it,such as firing,baking and so on.As a result,our pancake is of great taste,and the sweet smell will last long.What's more important,it's full of nutrition,which can comfort your body and makes you more healthy.So it's really good for both young and old.
The edible methods is to just open the package,and eat.You can also bring it to a picnic since it can be a good snack.
Now it's available in every supermarkets.What are you waiting for?Just go ahead and buy it!You can never miss such wonderful taste!
啊!我的天哪~我把你的意思搞错了!哎!害我写了这么半天(平时在学校写也要半个小时呢)
伤心啊~
...
好吧,我还是回答一下吧:
我也觉得有好多地方不很对,
但我可以猜出来是什么意思,
也就是说,也许你有中国式思维,
这影响了你的写作,
其实可以看出来你的构思是不错的,
想表达的内容也很好,
但是用错了句型,
或搞错了主被动,
或是中国式英语,
(也许你可以从我那篇文章中看到,我有很多地方是根据你的修改的)
这一次我就打15分吧,
不过,
我想只要你把观念转变一下,
写作文的时候多想想学过的句型(当然平时要好好记哦:)
多用高级句型,词组,还有连接词,
(对了,平时还要多读来找语感,
这样对你的中国式英语的改正会有好处,)
你的作文一定会写得更好!
加油!下次你会写得更好!

Our New Pancake
Our factory has launched a new kind of pancake recently, which was made of rice,maize,grease,cream and so on.There are so many flavors of it, and because of our unique technics,th...

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Our New Pancake
Our factory has launched a new kind of pancake recently, which was made of rice,maize,grease,cream and so on.There are so many flavors of it, and because of our unique technics,the pancke can taste like refrigerated or baked.The wonderful taste will last for a long time in your mouth.Further more,the pancake is very nutritional,so it is good for the old and young .You can have it as breakfast or a snack or whatever.
Just check it out,you will like it.
我给你15分吧

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“Our factory makes...” “It’s made of rice、...” “we use the especial ways ”“， like fring or baking” “And what’s important is that...”..........
看不下去了，老大，问题不少啊...英语需要加把劲了哦...，打个12分吧...