一篇英语作文求修改.title:Bad Effects on Children of Filmsbody:Apparently,the film has become a HUGER industry than ever before.One proof is the number of films made every year is increasingly rising.However,along with its' development,there

一篇英语作文求修改.title:Bad Effects on Children of Filmsbody:Apparently,the film has become a HUGER industry than ever before.One proof is the number of films made every year is increasingly rising.However,along with its' development,there
一篇英语作文求修改.
title:
Bad Effects on Children of Films
body:
Apparently,the film has become a HUGER industry than ever before.One proof is the number of films made every year is increasingly rising.However,along with its' development,there showed up many criticism for it to face.
As to make the films more attractive,directors today use lots of extra special effects,some of which are OK for adults but not good for children.In general,it is the violent and horrible scenes in the films that have caused people concerns.People,especially parents are worrying that those scenes will have bad influences on their children's growing.Due to children's purity and lack of the ability of telling right from wrong,they could easily tend to imitate the violent and horrible actions they see in the films,which will possibly lead violent characters and bad tempers to grow in their personalities.
The way to solve this serious issue needs cooperation among schools and parents.For instance,we should recommend more positive and instructive movies to our children to watch.To set a new film classification rule may be another good solution that can help.

一篇英语作文求修改.title:Bad Effects on Children of Filmsbody:Apparently,the film has become a HUGER industry than ever before.One proof is the number of films made every year is increasingly rising.However,along with its' development,there
楼主的原文是篇优秀的文章,大学水平.现提点拙见,供你参考
Apparently,the film has become a bigger(抽象性的“大”,用big) industry than ever before.One proof is the number of films made every year is rapidly(increasingly本身已有增长之意,与后面的rising重复,建议改为rapidly) rising.However,along with its' development,it causes some big problems(there showed up many criticism for it to face.窃以为此句表达有点生僻,改为it causes some big problems更通俗,地道)
To(省去AS,让不定式做目的状语) make the films more attractive,directors today use lots of extra special effects,some of which are OK for adults but not good for children.In general,it is the violent and horrible scenes in the films that have caused people’s(concern是名词,故要用people的所有格) concerns.People,especially parents are worrying that those scenes will have bad influence（influence是不可数名词,不用复数）on their children's growing.Due to children's purity and lack of the ability of telling right from wrong,they could easily tend to imitate the violent and horrible actions they see in the films,which will possibly make violent characters and bad tempers develop in their personalities.(个人觉得lead...to...短语中,to后面只能接名词,不能接不定式)
The way to solve this serious issue needs cooperation between(两者之间,用between) schools and parents.For instance,we should recommend more positive and instructive movies to our children to watch.To set a new film classification rule may be another good solution that can help.
（最后一段写得很高级,流畅!）

只是改了最基本的语法错误， 意思，句型，和结构没变
title:
Negative Effects of Films on Children
body:
Apparently, the film has become a BIGGER industry than ever before. One proof is that the number of films...

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只是改了最基本的语法错误， 意思，句型，和结构没变
title:
Negative Effects of Films on Children
body:
Apparently, the film has become a BIGGER industry than ever before. One proof is that the number of films made every year is increasing. However, along with its' development, there exist many criticisms which these films must face.
As to make the films more attractive, directors today use lots of extra special effects, some of which are adequete for adults but not for children. In general, it is the violent and horrible scenes in the films that have caused people concerns. People, especially parents, are worried that those scenes will have bad influences on their children. Due to children's purity and lack of the ability of telling right from wrong, they could easily tend to imitate the violent and horrible actions they see in these films, which will possibly lead to violent characters and bad tempers to develope\ in their personality.
The way to solve this serious issue is cooperation among schools and parents. For instance, we should recommend more positive and instructive movies for our children to watch. To set a new film classification rule may be another good solution that can help.

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